The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby  English will  be the official language of the European Union rather than German,  which was  the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British  Government conceded that English spelling had some room for  improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become  known as "Euro-English".

 In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make  the sivil servants jump with joy. 

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up  konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the  troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like  fotograf 20% shorter. 

 In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted  to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

 Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have  always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

 Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag  is disgrasful and it should go away.

 By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"  with "z" and "w" with "v". 

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords  kontaining "ou"  and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. 

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu  understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united Evrop vil finali kum tru. 

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in  ze forst plas.

 If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.

Quelle: http://www.polishnews.com/text/humor/european_comission_english.html

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